Sushi Fury

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Hellfire Wing Challenge at Smoke Eaters

Last week I flew to San Fran to visit Connie for a few days and see the city. Never been there before. Best memory? Last Sunday, we drove down to Santa Clara to Smoke Eaters to do the Hellfire Challenge because I saw it on Man v. Food. The basic rules: you, a waiver, 12 wings in 10 minutes, no drinks or napkins, and a 5-minute waiting period after you finish.

It was definitely an experience! The wings came in a thick, gritty soup of hot sauce. First bite, windpipe became constricted. Not unbearably hot though. Oh, it burned, but I had more painful heat from a little green pepper my dad fed me a week earlier. The hot sauce burned everywhere — fingers, lips, cheeks, mouth, stomach, and (later) asshole. The wings were hard to swallow — I could only finish 3 in 10 minutes. Connie did 5!

The aftermath: I had massive stomach pain and threw up later that night. My stomach decided to empty itself like I was drunk or something.

Connie’s stomach was fine, but her taste buds were fucked up for a couple days. She said things tasted sour. I guess I’m glad that didn’t happen to me! I knew Connie wouldn’t have any problems with the heat. She sucks down hot stuff better than I can!

I took home as much of the sauce as I could. I’ve been putting it on everything. I keep craving the shit, and it’s fine until it hits my stomach, at which point it seems to catch my asshole on fire as it shoots out of it.

What I learned: Not being a competitive eater at all, I didn’t think I could finish 12 wings that quickly, but I knew I could take the heat. I gotta keep training, is all. My next strategy for the challenge: suck the sauce off the wing and use it to wash down the previous bite. Now where around here do they serve wings for cheap?

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5 Responses to “Hellfire Wing Challenge at Smoke Eaters”

  1. Firebird says:

    Gun’a try it this Friday, any tips? Wish me luck or at least fun in the trying.

  2. sushi says:

    The girl at the counter told us to go to the market next door and buy some milk. Probably helped a little, but shit, the sauce was torture on my stomach! Hope you conquered it without destroying your digestive tract.

  3. The Great says:

    I have 16yr old daughter ,she totally wants 2 do the challange. Should let her??

  4. sushi says:

    It depends on if she can handle a spoonful of cayenne ground up with habanero, some vinegar and water to make a paste. That’s what it felt like I was eating with every bite. When I was 16 I could probably handle one, at most!

    I don’t remember if they do smaller orders for the Hellfire wings, but if you can get only a few or 6, go for that instead. If she can handle those, then let her go for the whole challenge. I went for it only because I figured I could take the rest home. Connie ate the rest the next day after I left for home (guess she got used to it real quick), and I took the sauce. I put a half teaspoon on full bowls of stuff (fried rice, spaghetti, tacos, whatever) and I could feel my stomach burning up through the meal and for an hour after that.

  5. The Great says:

    Ooh wow….she’ll probably go small 1st haha !! Thank u for the insight. She’s pretty good at knowing her limit. ;) I think , lol !

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