Last week I flew to San Fran to visit Connie for a few days and see the city. Never been there before. Best memory? Last Sunday, we drove down to Santa Clara to Smoke Eaters to do the Hellfire Challenge because I saw it on Man v. Food. The basic rules: you, a waiver, 12 wings in 10 minutes, no drinks or napkins, and a 5-minute waiting period after you finish.
It was definitely an experience! The wings came in a thick, gritty soup of hot sauce. First bite, windpipe became constricted. Not unbearably hot though. Oh, it burned, but I had more painful heat from a little green pepper my dad fed me a week earlier. The hot sauce burned everywhere — fingers, lips, cheeks, mouth, stomach, and (later) asshole. The wings were hard to swallow — I could only finish 3 in 10 minutes. Connie did 5!
The aftermath: I had massive stomach pain and threw up later that night. My stomach decided to empty itself like I was drunk or something.
Connie’s stomach was fine, but her taste buds were fucked up for a couple days. She said things tasted sour. I guess I’m glad that didn’t happen to me! I knew Connie wouldn’t have any problems with the heat. She sucks down hot stuff better than I can!
I took home as much of the sauce as I could. I’ve been putting it on everything. I keep craving the shit, and it’s fine until it hits my stomach, at which point it seems to catch my asshole on fire as it shoots out of it.
What I learned: Not being a competitive eater at all, I didn’t think I could finish 12 wings that quickly, but I knew I could take the heat. I gotta keep training, is all. My next strategy for the challenge: suck the sauce off the wing and use it to wash down the previous bite. Now where around here do they serve wings for cheap?
Tags: Connie, eating challenge, food, San Francisco
Gun’a try it this Friday, any tips? Wish me luck or at least fun in the trying.
The girl at the counter told us to go to the market next door and buy some milk. Probably helped a little, but shit, the sauce was torture on my stomach! Hope you conquered it without destroying your digestive tract.